The Infamous Jambalaya Shirt Button

The story of the Infamous Jambalaya Shirt Button is by far one of my favorites to tell.

One of the first things I do when starting at a new restaurant is introduce myself to all the employees and try to learn everyone's name. I had recently started at The Shitshow, a high-volume upscale casual dining restaurant in the San Francisco Bay Area. At the end of my mid-shift I walked down the cooks line to say hi to a few cooks I had not met yet. I had unfortunate timing and walked past the fry station right when one of the cooks decided it would be funny to throw buffalo sauce at another cook. I was caught in the crossfire and now had buffalo sauce all over my pale blue dress shirt.

Because it was the end of my shift and an old shirt, I didn't stress over it. I was about to leave anyway so I went into the office, removed my shirt, and put on a sweatshirt. The other managers came in to laugh at me. I looked down at my soiled shirt and had a great idea. I thought it would be funny for Dan, a short, fat, Asian man, to put on my shirt. He weighed at least 100 pounds more than I did. So Dan puts on my shirt, succeeds in buttoning a few buttons, and starts flexing like a bodybuilder.

The hilarity was too much for us to share alone. We walked out onto the servers line so all the employees could get a good laugh. The GM was gone for the day, so we were in the clear. Dan is flexing and striking poses and starts an uproar in the kitchen. Suddenly, mid-flex, a shirt button pops off and flies into the abyss that is the cooks line. He and I frantically search through pans and drawers of food, but to no avail. We even emptied the fryers and found no shirt button.

I finally looked at Dan and said, "Fuck it, I'm off. Your shift now, your problem," and peaced out. The next day I came in for my closing shift and opened the manager e-mails. A guest had called the night before and said he had found a shirt button in his Jambalaya that he had ordered to-go. Dan had taken the call, and had acted as if it was finding a button in a to-go order was impossible. He even went so far as accusing the guest of trying to lie to get something for free, and insisted on the guest bringing in the shirt button if he wanted a refund. Dan was my idol and hero at this moment in time. The guest ended up writing to corporate and our GM and Area Director of Operations were contacted.

After reading the e-mail I immediately ran to look for Dan but my GM, Mark, found me first. He pulled Dan and I into the office and forced us to tell him what really happened. We weren't gonna lie. We told Mark the whole story while he tried to hold back a smile. Afterwards we all burst into laughter and Dan told us that if we're going to fuck around, at least do it in the office. He called the ADO and explained that he had spoken to all managers during that shift and none of us knew why that had happened. He called the guest back and basically told him to fuck off, don't call us again, and not to come in to the restaurant.  

I love my job.