Facebooking at restaurants

Something I don't understand and subsequently find annoying is Facebook behavior at restaurants. While 100% of the population uses it (about 25% adamantly deny it), it seems like 110% of Facebook users find it necessary to not only "check in" to a restaurant and tag all their friends, they insist on oohing and aahing over their food and using Instagram to upload photos, so their entire network of online friends are aware of what they are having for dinner. 

Reasons why documenting your restaurant experience on Facebook is stupid:

1. Nobody cares about what you are eating or drinking. When I constantly see people put pictures of alcoholic beverages on Facebook, I assume those people are alcoholics. Also, seeing non-professional photos of food that are not display models like they are on menus is disgusting. When someone posts a photo of a ginormous plate of nachos, they are also advertising the fact that they are going to have horrendous gas and probably blow up the restaurant bathroom later. Too much information.

2. Checking in is stupid. Ok, I will admit that I do it sometimes as well, but all Facebook is, is an online beauty pageant or popularity contest. Advertising the fact that you are at a restaurant hanging out with all of your friends is stupid. What happened to actually hanging out with people and enjoying each other's company without concern of how your online persona is perceived? Who gives a fuck?

3. Cell phones at the dinner table are just plain rude. When I go out to dinner, I expect my dining companions to pay attention to me and the others at the table, not their phones. Playing on your phone indicates boredom and is a non-verbal way of saying you are not enjoying my company. It also provides a distraction when the wait staff is trying to serve you. Put your phone away or go fuck yourself.

4. Taking a million pictures is beyond annoying. This offense is particularly prevalent among young girls. Young female teenagers and adults get dressed up really fancy to go somewhere where normal people know it is acceptable to wear flip flops. Groups of girls have to take a million pictures before committing to actually sit down at their table, and this is not only annoying because they ask employees to take pictures of them but because what they need to do is sit the fuck down so they can eat, pay, and get out. This is a restaurant, not a photo shoot. People are here because they want to eat, not to wait forever because some stupid fucks need to photograph themselves out with friends and update their Facebook profiles. 

Bottom line:  If you want to document you restaurant experience, take a few pics and post them later. You are probably going to go home and check to see how many people "liked" your status anyway, and stalk your ex's profile to make sure they know that you are out and having a good time without them. Get a life.